buwaro

So, after way too much slacking off from me, we finally got somewhere with the Whooligan crackfic of doom.

Author:buwaro
Rating: PG, mild swearing and crude jokes at worst.
Starring: The Chibi-brigade of - ChibiTen, ChibiRose, ChibiGiac, ChibiPeter, ChibiNine and ChibiJack. Plus ChibiPepperpot
Pairings: light ChibiTen/ChibiRose and ChibiGiac/ChibiJack/Everyone
Crack Level: Medium to Heavy
Summary: Chibis left on their own, a tiny terror of the universe on the loose and exploding foodstuffs. Yeah, nothing normal here. 

Pepperpot -A Whooligans Crackfic- Part Two 

Nine pulled himself out from under the flexi-lead uplinks of the newly fixed Tardis handbrake. One that both worked to stop the ship drifting off into the middle ages and also made toast. Unfortunatly he would have to wait for the pinstripe wearing lump of a Time Lord to get back before he could test it out properly. Jack was still tinkering with the temporal connection feed that'd allow the Tardis to distinquish between the 'stop us flying into the sun' and 'make me some toast' settings while Ten was still sulking about being left out of the adventure in the forest.
"If you keep scowling like that, your face'll lock up and get stuck in that position. It'll give me nightmares," Nine called over to the tiny-Time Lord in question as he slipped his jacket back on, grinning as the scowl on his counterpart's face darkened.

Ten was about to throw back a retort when the sound of frantic meeping stunned them all into silence. Jack banged his head in his haste to pull himself out, to which Nine had to comment on 'how hollow it sounded' before Giac ran into the room. He was meeping so fast that even the chibi's couldn't understand. Peter wasn't that far behind, finish off his corn dog as he slammed the chibi-door behind him.

"We're being attacked by a pepperpot!" He meeped, panting slightly as Giac just refused to stop panicing and was running around the console room. Jack procceeded to trip him up as he ran past.
"What? Pepperpots can't attack people," Ten said, trying to hide his glee at something exciting happening that the real Doctor couldn't interfere with.
"It has a deathray and tried to exterminate us with it, I'd say that counts as attacking!"

Ten looked across to Rose was standing, he was going to grab her hand and run off to see just what this killer pepperpot was. One problem, she wasn't there.
"Rose?" He looked around, Nine had vanished too. Then, realising what had happened, he looked down the corridoor leading to the kitchen just in time to see the two of them shoot around the corner, "hey!" he sighed, "Peter, keep an eye on the Tardis."
"And don't hit any buttons," Jack added as he watched Ten running after the others, he grabbed his trenchcoat and sprinted after them as well, "you might make her moody. And you don't want to deal with a ship with PMS!"

Peter gave a cross between a sigh and a meep as the ex-conChibi vanished around the corner. He'd only wanted a corndog, not to be shot at by a deathray. He looked around the console room, spotting Giac unconsious on the floor before his eyes were drawn to the blinking lights of the Tardis' screens and readouts. He'd heard, several times, how the ship was supposed to be alive and the thought of being left alone with her just gave him the creeps, especially after already being shot at by something alien. He used to be an detective that unravelled murders, all the supernatural and sci-fi stuff left him completely out of his depth.
"Hello? Please don't hurt me." He could have sworn that he heard a chuckle, right at the back of his mind.

Nine skidded to a halt just before the large door that led to the kitchen, Rose right behind him, as he slowly crept forward with the familiar grin on his face as he called around the corner.
"I'm the doctor!" he said, ignoring Ten's meeping protests about the contrary as the other Chibi finally caught up, "if you wanted something to eat than you could have just asked."
"Maybe it'll eat you," Ten grumbled, getting an elbow in the ribs from Rose. But all three chibis froze at the screeching meep they got as the reply.
"DOCTOR? THE DOCTOR!"
"Not possible..."

"Doctor? Are you okay?" the real Rose Tyler asked as he suddenly seemed to space out, in the middle of eating a sandwich. The two were sitting on a large blanket that had been draped over a massive tree branch, feet not quite touching the floor, as a large basket sat beside them. It was still half full of food as the Doctor snapped back to reality.
"That's odd. There was a telepathic pulse from the Tardis, a bit muffled by all the flora in between us and her though."
"I thought the Tardis was always telepathically doing stuff like translating and whatnot."
"That's background telepathy, takes place purely in your subconsious so you would have to be focusing on it to notice. But, this was full telepathy, couldn't miss it. You'd need to be braindead to be able to ignore it and that's impossible seeing as I have a very active brain because I'm, you know, me. Anyway, that's beside the point, the thing is that the Tardis has never communicated with me like that before. Sure, if I concentrate, I can sort of pick up her mood but that's about it. This was a proper message. She's scared, scared of something. We'd better get back." He didn't sound gleefull like he usually did when a monster of somekind showed up, he was being purely serious.
"It's probably just the chibis," Rose insisted, not wanting to give up the nice normal picnic.
"Can't be. I've been with that box for nine hundred years and she's never been scared before. We've been attacked by the kraken, ghosts and even atomic bombs and she's been fine. The chibis wouldn't be able to spook her. But this, whatever it is, it's scared my ship. Now the only way that is possible to even phase her is if it's very dangerous. Dangerous to her and to us." He turned back towards the direction of the Tardis, Rose right behind him, leaving the wooden basket behind as they legged it through the undergrowth.

Peter, meanwhile, was in a near panic as seemingly random lights of all colours flicked up on the displays. The Tardis' engine started firing itself up, the sound of which echoed through the ship and the surrounding forest. While the Doctor knew that the sound was just the police box's way of making it easier for him to find, Peter had convinced himself that it meant she was mad at him for something.
"Ah! I'm sorry, I'm sorry! you're a very nice ship! Having a big inside isn't freaky at all!"

And there it was, as the Chibis all backed away from the door, as their worst nightmare glided out of the kitchen, eyestalk swiveling around to face them. The cold, intelligent, blue glow from deep inside the eyestalk seemed to focus on both Nine and Ten. They both flinched as the lights on it's dome flashed.
"THERE ARE TWO DOCTORS?"
"How did you get on board?" Ten finally managed to say, Nine too busy being shocked into silence to make his usual scathing remarks.
"THE DALEKS ARE SUPREME!"
"But you're not a dalek, you're a chibi!"
"THE DOCTORS WILL BE EXTERMINATED!" The miniture Dalek screeched, each word louder than the last.

"No," Nine finally spoke, eyes hardened and locked straight onto the eyepiece of the Dalek even as he slipped his hand into his inside pocket. Ten watched his counterpart out of the corner of his eye, figuring out just what he was thinking...
"YOU WILL OBEY!"
"He said no! We will not die, not to you." Ten added, reaching into his own pocket as they both pulled out their chibified screwdrivers and wielded them at the Dalek.
"YOUR SONIC PROBE IS USELESS!"
"For the last time, it's a screwdriver!" Ten growled as they both suddenly turned and aimed their tools at the side panel on the wall.

It took the combined power of both screwdrivers to operate the mechanics inside but eventually a large exoglass barrier, one that would close off parts of the Tardis in case of fire, slammed shut between the Chibis and the Dalek, just in time to absorb the blast from its laser weapon. Where the ray struck, the glass glowed red hot and small splinters started to form.
"That won't hold it, run!" Ten shouted, grabbing Rose's hand and leaving Nine to bring up the rear as they all ran like all hell was chasing them.